I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
