sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
