the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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