You're my little dorito
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wish there were birth control emojis
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
