Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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