she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
