You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
