I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
