someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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