Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
