Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
