just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So squirting runs in the family.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
