they need to just BURY HIM!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
