We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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