His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
