I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
