...so i touched it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
