trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Vodka?
Forever.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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