never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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