your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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