Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
