my sisters under your porch take her home
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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