its not stalking. its research.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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