Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
