RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
