someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
do nipples grow back?
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