so explain again why im purple
no
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
