We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
