so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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