She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
