I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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