It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
