Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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