i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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