Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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