Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
