shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
