You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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