Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
