The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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