my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
