What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
