Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
