Sry I called you an 8
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
