haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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