I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
