he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
