Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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