all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
