I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
