Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
