My Higher Power is John Stamos
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
