And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he fucked my hip out of place.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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